I Stopped

flowerp

I Stopped

I stopped looking
I stopped searching
I stopped wandering
I stopped

I stopping fighting
I stopping trying
I stopped tiring
I stopped

I took a moment to breathe
A moment to be
To escape
To getaway
I spent some time alone with myself
I stopped asking others for help
Because they couldn’t save
Me

I stopped looking
I stopped searching
I stopped wandering
I stopped

I stopped fighting
I stopped trying
I stopped tiring
I stopped

I took some time just to think
Of where I wanted to go
Of what I wanted to know
Most importantly,
How I wanted to grow
And I eventually set myself
Free

I stopped wandering
I stopped tiring
I stopped.

© 2017 C. A. Barnes

Rise

bird sketch

Rise

I was not looking to be at your side
I was just looking for a place to hide
When the winter comes, I will rise

Down this road for so long I’ve known
I’ve given up searching for a home
Where the grass is green like jewels
It almost glows

Year after year, I’ve lived the same old way
Surrounded by lies that constantly say
No, no, it won’t do
No, no, what you once thought isn’t true
No, no, let it go, give it up
No, no, what you do, will never be enough

Go home, is what I wanted to say
Just go home, I’m not suppose to be here anyways
Go, I close my eyes
I block my ears
Go, I won’t give in to my fears
Goodbye road, goodbye years
Living the same old way
Down the road I’ve only ever known

I was not looking to be at your side
I was just a coward, looking for a place to hide
And now my time is running dry
When winter comes, that is when I’ll rise

©2017 C.A. Barnes

Go Your Own Way

Vintage Dots

Go Your Own Way

Don’t force to stay
To play their game
Have strength
And leave them behind

You can’t change their mind
They won’t stand behind
You, no way
So leave them today

And choose to be
Completely free
No more pretending
No more befriending
Foes of yesterday

It’s over now
Be you, you must somehow
Don’t listen to what they say
Just go your own way

Don’t try to prove
Your worth in their shoes
They don’t care what you say
So go your own way

And choose to be
Completely free
No more pretending
No more befriending
Foes of yesterday

Live at last
No longer a slave to the past
Live in truth
Be the one with nothing more to prove
Just go your own way
Go your own way
Life is short
Don’t delay
Go your own way

© 2017 C.A. Barnes

What’s Next

bird sketch

What’s Next

I should have stayed put
I should have believed in you
I should have stopped looking at others
And instead looked at the truth
Now more years have been wasted
Now more time has gone
And though I am not nearly old
I feel my strength is done

What’s next
What should I do
Should I look to the world
Or to the truth
Should I listen to the lies
That’s taken me nowhere
Or do I just stop
And start to prepare…

©2017 C. A. Barnes

It’s Okay

 

Rocks or Light

It’s Okay

It’s okay to be
The only one
To be
Left under the sun
It’s okay to go
On this road alone
It’s okay to be lost
Until you find your home

It’s okay to be
The only one
To keep on searching
Until you’re done
It’s okay to feel
Like you’re on your own
It’s okay to try
Try try try
It’s okay to do it again and again
Until you fly

It’s okay to be
Just who you are
Even if what that is
Doesn’t seem to get you far
It’s okay to be
Just who you are
And to keep on believing
On that lucky star

©2017 C.A. Barnes

Turtle

turtle pop2

Turtle

I’m slow, yes I know
I’m a turtle
Always late in every way
You’d think I’d be ashamed
But it’s too hard to explain
I’m okay
And life is great
Being a turtle

I don’t need to be there
By a certain time
I don’t need milestones to reach
At certain ages in life
I don’t care what they do
When or how
Cause I like how things have went
For me and somehow
Life as a turtle sets me free

There’ll be no bucket lists for me
Causing so much anxiety
To have this, to have that
To accomplish things
In no time flat
Oh I don’t care what they say
I love my life, it’s really great
I don’t want for many things
But to live a life of simplicity

There’s no hurdles
In a life of a turtle
So I’m not changing
I’m a turtle
And I’m very glad

© 2017 C.A. Barnes

I Let Her Go

 

doll1

I Let Her Go

I always held on tightly to her
She made me believe I could be anything
I always searched for more of her
She made me think that I was everything
No she made me feel lucky
But sometimes a little bit ugly
In holding on to so much of her
Perhaps on day, I could be what she was
Just because
I knew her so well

I never thought I would tell her goodbye
I thought our childish bond was for a lifetime
I knew I was getting too old
To keep tying her to my identity
Declaring it so bold
Refusing my reality
Refusing the world I now lived in
She could no longer be a refuge for me

Still I couldn’t let go
So I delayed my life, so I could hold
Just a bit of joy that I always had
Even in a world diseased and mad
Just a bit of my dreams that I always knew
Even in a world that left me nothing good
I would hold on to her
Until I no longer could

Now I let her go
I had to let her go
I had to walk away
From the past, my childish days
I had to grow
I had to go
I had to let her go

© 2017 C.A. Barnes

Unordinary Being

Rock Face 2

Unordinary Being

This old life
It could never
It never satisfied
Perfect world
It was something
Something I could never hold

I want to go
I need to go home
Let me be this rare
Unordinary being
Sure I won’t fit in with this world
But at least I’ll have joy being
A simply weird girl

Soon I know
Life will lead me
To some other
Simply weird beings
Who learned in time to say
Good bye
To their old life
That never satisfied
To trying to create a perfect world
Which was something they could never hold

I want to go
I need to go home
Let me be this rare
Unordinary being
Sure I won’t fit in with this world
But at least I’ll have joy being
A simply weird girl

© 2017 C.A. Barnes

Grow

Sketch Sky

Grow

Go on and take a chance, who cares if you fail, who cares if you lose, at least you danced…

Realize you have all that you need, so much more than what your eyes can see, so what are you waiting for, I can see so many open doors…

Over these mountains, tall as can be dreamed, way under the crisp and clear dark blue seas

Across vast valleys, vibrant and healthy in jeweled green, up above the ethereal skies, holding dreams true and wild…

Wait no more, you’ve come so far, and it does show. I think it’s about time that you GROW~~~that you grow~~~go ahead, GROW.